Emotions are Informants
Bella CalcaraShare
The key to expansion and creating a life you want for yourself, is to be proactive, not reactive. Every time you become highly emotional in response to an external stimulus you are reacting. When you react you are hemorrhaging power. If you want to become someone who is unshakeable, keep reading.
｡𖦹°‧｡𖦹°‧｡𖦹°‧｡𖦹°‧｡𖦹°‧
Emotions are informants.
Emotions point you to where your work is- to where you are still unhealed.
I define “healed” as the ability to stay open-minded and open-hearted. The ability to maintain a state of inner peace and bliss. Our “unhealed” places are where we contract, close-off and get emotional.
This is where most people already blunder. Most people think it is their job to evade the emotion.
Evasion tactics sound like:
“If this thing makes me sad, I will avoid this thing.”
“If this person makes me mad, I will avoid this person.”
“If I drink I don’t have to feel my feelings.”
“If I am constantly busy or working I don’t have to feel my feelings.”
“If I am always in a relationship I never have to be alone with myself.”
Evasion tactics are reactions. You are reacting to discomfort by running away. This is tucking your tail. This is letting fear and contraction limit and shape your life.
Living in constant reaction is the best way to ensure that you will never direct the flow of life the way you want it to go. To start really getting in there, in full participation, in full life creation- you have to consciously work on your triggers, not attempt to escape them. Notice how I say attempt. Because that’s the thing with these emotions, they will find you eventually. And when they do it will be with unbearable force- oftentimes in the form of sickness or a deep depression.
This is why they say - “When you are depressed, you need deep rest.” Yes, you need deep rest. Deep stillness to get quiet enough to confront the deep roots of causation.
What is really going on?
Allowing yourself to feel all of your emotions deeply, is heavy spiritual work. It is work that most people don’t have the strength to do in this lifetime.
“Where your fear is, there is your task.”-Carl Jung
Emotions are extremely complex. In order to understand the true roots of an emotional reaction- there is a process of examination required. Emotions exist so we can delve all the way in and extract every piece of information possible. So we can learn and begin to understand where we are unhealed.
The first stage of the process is to fully enter the highly emotional state. Face the emotion head on. Emotional states are not where we should make decisions from and not places to have productive conversations from. Emotional states are the places where we need to be the most gentle with ourselves. We must stay open. Do not numb. Do not try to escape. Breathe. Keep feeling and know that emotions move like waves. Let the emotion wash over you and know that it will pass. Once the emotion has passed this is when examination can happen. What was it about the specific event that triggered such an emotional response from you?
Let’s say that in this specific instance the wave of emotion that came over you was deep sadness from a break up. You are sad because you love this person, you love their quirks and nuances, the way they smell. You are sad because the love you received from them was special and nobody else is special in the way they are. This is heartbreaking.
But this isn’t true.
Now that you've allowed yourself to go deeply through the feeling stage it is time to distinguish truth from veil. The veil is everything that our ego tells us. Our ego has made these things about this person - special.
(Now, there is a deeper level of Jungian waters here that I am not diving all the way into. Like, there are definitely aspects of this person that you adore so much because deep down you wish to integrate those aspects into your own identity somewhere…. but this is a whole nother newsletter!)
Your disconnection from them feels like a disconnection from specialness. Disconnection from the one thing you wanted to connect with.
You feel scarcity, like you can’t ever get this again. But scarcity is an illusion.
Abundance is truth.
But when you are analyzing the situation with consciousness you know that precisely because you found this once, you will be able to find this again.
Where there is one there are many.
The existence of your adoration for this person proves the existence of this adoration.
How exciting!
This is where the spiritual work is
-getting down to the essence, the actual truth of the matter.
So yes, be sad from a break up. And be gentle with yourself for as long as that wave of emotion is crashing on your head. Drown in it for as long as you must.
And then, when it passes, what you make of it is who you are.
What you do with your pain, is the most important thing.
So now the next time this feeling is triggered inside of you. Something special that you adored is taken away from you. Know deeply that there is no scarcity. Know that you can trust in the order of the Universe and the next waves of emotion will be much smaller and shorter, until eventually they don't even crash over you, you just watch them go by.
And now in this space, you are unshakeable, and you can now move to different work.